A good friend of mine told me a story of how him and his dad would pack their lunches with sandwiches and Chick-O-Sticks, and then go fishing for the day. I don’t know why, but now when I see Chick-O-Sticks in the store it reminds me of my friend and his dad spending time fishing together. In many ways, I wish I had more of these moments with my dad, but unfortunately it was never the case. Like most kids, my parent’s marriage ended in divorce. I was very young when it happened to me, so I can tell you first hand that growing up with divorce parents really, really sucks! Now days it seems more common to find children from divorce situations, however, when I was growing up it wasn’t quite so common.

For some reason though, something inside me absolutely despised the things I had to endure growing up. I could have repeated the mistakes my parents made, but that would have started the cycle all over again. NO! I wanted my marriage to be different. I didn’t want my children to go through the same junk I had to go through when I was growing up. As Lisa and I started raising our children I never felt like I had it all together. In fact, most of my parenting skills were taken from bad examples of what NOT to do. Once again, I turned to the Bible to teach me what it meant to be a good husband and a good father (notice I connected the two). Sometimes I think, well you just got lucky. I don’t think so. There were a lot of things inside me which had to change. As the Bible confronted me with truth, I had to work very hard to make those behavioral changes in my life.

Williams_FamilyOne thing I can say for sure, Dads are important! Our culture continues to fight against the role of a dad making them look stupid and irrelevant, but it’s not the case. Not trying to exclude Mothers here, they are just as important, but in light of Father’s day I wanted to say a few things. With our crazy mixed up busy lives, it is important for Dads to be involved with their children. The few precious times I remember with my Dad, were times we worked on things. Nothing wrong with working. In fact, I can contribute my work ethic’s to my Uncle (another father figure in my life). So … I spent time doing house projects with my sons. You would be amazed at what your kids will learn. Of course there was the time when my son and I were working in the attic and I hit my fingers with the hammer, then blurted out “You ripping hussy”. Moments later my son is asking me what a ripping hussy was. 🙁

In my experience, children will learn more by your example. Spending time with them creates the teachable moments, like the time my son and I install the new furnace five times in one day. Lesson for the day, if your going to do a job, do it right! By watching what you do and say, children will learn what you value, good and bad. That’s why its important to set a good example. Not that you have to be perfect, children will even learn from your mistakes. Creating these teachable moments is not complicated. Our daughter would read to us book series for hours, which created a special bond between us. My Uncle Irvin would spent time with me putting together models, which taught me how to follow directions and be patient, something I’m still working on. 🙁 Now that my children are older, I look forward to spending lunches and the occasional road trips together.

No matter how much this culture continues to shove their version of family down my throat, I will remain steadfast to God’s original design that it takes a Father and a Mother to grow healthy generations. Mom’s and Dad’s bring about a healthy balance in a child’s life. I know because I can see a major difference in my own children. In these days more than ever, we need dads to step up and be involved in their children’s lives. Yes, even you Dads in divorce situations. Do whatever you can to stay in touch with your children.

So grab some Chick-O-Sticks and make some memories. You won’t regret it!