Take time to make a difference today

Posted on June 29, 2015 by Tennyson

A while back I worked with a gal who, in my opinion is the nicest person I’ve ever met. I like to show up 15-20 minutes early for work. During that time the office is very quiet, but it wasn’t long until I would hear her traveling down the hallway greeting everyone along the way. Morning Jeff, morning Jon, morning Mike she would say. My cubical was right beside hers so when she would say good morning to me, out of orneriness I would just growl. 🙂 In an office environment filled with constant tension it was so refreshing to have someone like her to set the mood for the day. I found that just a simple greeting can change a person’s attitude. It’s hard not to smile back and for a brief moment, forget about your worries and the things you are dealing with.

There was another lady who loved to help out and do things for people, such as bake cookies or put together snack days for your birthday. She would bake me a whole plate full of lemon cookies for my birthday, but then I would have to regrettably share them with the rest of my co-workers. 🙁 She never seem to mind doing things for other people. I never once heard her complain, you could tell it was something she enjoyed very much.

These ladies were just as busy as everyone else, for them to take the time to do these simple acts of kindness brought about a deeper appreciation in my life. As I was thinking on these things I come to realize that these individuals have been gifted by God. I’ve always believed that God uses natural things to teach us spiritual things. Through their lives I see an expression of who God is. They may not change the world, but they sure change the world around them.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know we constantly face on a daily basis negative thoughts, actions and people who are just down right mean and rude. This world has definitely seen it’s share of wickedness, but mankind has the potential to do good and bring about a difference to the people around them. This I believe is fromMaking a difference our creator who according to the Bible, IS the definition of good.

Come on, you know what I’m talking about. Your walking down the street and your about to pass by someone. In that moment you have two choices, you can continue looking down at the ground and pretend you don’t notice them, or you can look straight at them and say Good Morning or Hello. Then watch the expression on their face light up. Or how about a simple thing of opening the door for someone. I’ve done this many of times for young college students. You would be surprise at the many thankful comments I get. One time I open the door for a young Chinese girl, she in turn gave me a respectful short bow. Totally caught me off guard. Here’s a major one, we all have individuals who have made a difference in our lives. Why not take a few minutes and tell them how much you appreciate them. It doesn’t have to be complicated. You can say something like, I just wanted to say how much I appreciate the way you (fill in the blank).

With some people this just comes naturally, but others (like me) have to work on it. It requires thinking of others. I can get so caught up in my own little world that I forget about the people around me. There is a lot of hurting people out there going through life as best as they can, it wouldn’t take much to brighten their day. Those who know me personally, know I like to joke and have fun. The way I see it, living life has enough troubles, so why not balance it with some humor. I’m not asking you to change the world, only God is big enough for that job, but purpose to make a difference to the people around you. In doing so you will express an aspect of God to others.

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Grab some Chick-O-Sticks and make some memories.

Posted on June 19, 2015 by Tennyson

A good friend of mine told me a story of how him and his dad would pack their lunches with sandwiches and Chick-O-Sticks, and then go fishing for the day. I don’t know why, but now when I see Chick-O-Sticks in the store it reminds me of my friend and his dad spending time fishing together. In many ways, I wish I had more of these moments with my dad, but unfortunately it was never the case. Like most kids, my parent’s marriage ended in divorce. I was very young when it happened to me, so I can tell you first hand that growing up with divorce parents really, really sucks! Now days it seems more common to find children from divorce situations, however, when I was growing up it wasn’t quite so common.

For some reason though, something inside me absolutely despised the things I had to endure growing up. I could have repeated the mistakes my parents made, but that would have started the cycle all over again. NO! I wanted my marriage to be different. I didn’t want my children to go through the same junk I had to go through when I was growing up. As Lisa and I started raising our children I never felt like I had it all together. In fact, most of my parenting skills were taken from bad examples of what NOT to do. Once again, I turned to the Bible to teach me what it meant to be a good husband and a good father (notice I connected the two). Sometimes I think, well you just got lucky. I don’t think so. There were a lot of things inside me which had to change. As the Bible confronted me with truth, I had to work very hard to make those behavioral changes in my life.

Williams_FamilyOne thing I can say for sure, Dads are important! Our culture continues to fight against the role of a dad making them look stupid and irrelevant, but it’s not the case. Not trying to exclude Mothers here, they are just as important, but in light of Father’s day I wanted to say a few things. With our crazy mixed up busy lives, it is important for Dads to be involved with their children. The few precious times I remember with my Dad, were times we worked on things. Nothing wrong with working. In fact, I can contribute my work ethic’s to my Uncle (another father figure in my life). So … I spent time doing house projects with my sons. You would be amazed at what your kids will learn. Of course there was the time when my son and I were working in the attic and I hit my fingers with the hammer, then blurted out “You ripping hussy”. Moments later my son is asking me what a ripping hussy was. 🙁

In my experience, children will learn more by your example. Spending time with them creates the teachable moments, like the time my son and I install the new furnace five times in one day. Lesson for the day, if your going to do a job, do it right! By watching what you do and say, children will learn what you value, good and bad. That’s why its important to set a good example. Not that you have to be perfect, children will even learn from your mistakes. Creating these teachable moments is not complicated. Our daughter would read to us book series for hours, which created a special bond between us. My Uncle Irvin would spent time with me putting together models, which taught me how to follow directions and be patient, something I’m still working on. 🙁 Now that my children are older, I look forward to spending lunches and the occasional road trips together.

No matter how much this culture continues to shove their version of family down my throat, I will remain steadfast to God’s original design that it takes a Father and a Mother to grow healthy generations. Mom’s and Dad’s bring about a healthy balance in a child’s life. I know because I can see a major difference in my own children. In these days more than ever, we need dads to step up and be involved in their children’s lives. Yes, even you Dads in divorce situations. Do whatever you can to stay in touch with your children.

So grab some Chick-O-Sticks and make some memories. You won’t regret it!

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Go stomp on someone else’s flag!

Posted on June 12, 2015 by Tennyson

A lot of people may not know, but I am somewhat passionate about patriotism. I love studying our American heritage. The struggles, the victories, the people who sacrificed to make this country what it is today. One of the dangers in prosperity is we tend to forget the sacrifices which were made for us. In the Bible is written an account on how God delivered Israel from Egyptian slavery. Even though God had taken care of their needs the people complained instead of being thankful and appreciative for what was done for them. This could be said of us, if we continue to forget about the ones who have made this country a better place to live. I’m not just talking about our military men and women, but ALL Americans.

United State FlagOne of the things which infuriate me, is the latest trend to trash or stomp on the American flag. Now I can understand this happening in other countries, but among our own people! If you happen to be one of these disrespectful, arrogant idiots, then do America a favor, since you think you have it so bad here, pack your stuff and get out! America doesn’t need your stupidity. Some would say, it’s just a flag, whats the big deal? By asking such questions, you show your ignorance. When I was growing up, schools used to recite the Pledge of allegiance. Remember this?

“I pledge allegiance to the flag
of the United States of America
and to the Republic for which it stands,
one Nation, under God, indivisible
with liberty and justice for all”

The flag is not just some piece of material meant for decoration. It’s actually considered a living emblem. The emphasis on the flag, is what it represents. This is not some new concept, flags have been used throughout the centuries to represent nations and what that nation stands for. In essence, what these low life’s are saying when stomping on the flag is, we hate America and what it stands for, not realizing and appreciating the many sacrifices which were made to give you the freedom you have today. If we are not mindful of these things, we could take freedom for granted.

Benjamin Franklin once said, “Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become more corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters.” He also said, “Laws without morals are in vain.”  It shouldn’t come as no surprise to know that the continue moral decline of our nation will lead us down a wrong path. A person with morals will view freedom differently than someone without. You can disagree all you want, but the Bible has taught mankind for centuries how to live a virtuous life, something our culture has fought against for decades. Take for example the Ten commandments. What is so wrong with thou shall not steal, kill, or commit adultery? Would you rather have a society which allows these things? The following Scripture is speaking in reference to the last days, but I think it could apply to any culture devoid of morals.

People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. – 2 Timothy 2-5a

Hmmm, sounds a lot like the days in which we are living in.  Oh, wait! Did the Bible just predict the future? Imagine that! 🙂

Ok, so to get back on track here. I recently watched a documentary on the Statue of Liberty. I have not seen the statue yet (it’s on my bucket list), but I can just imagine these early immigrants standing in awe of its greatness, a symbol representing liberty, a beacon of hope and freedom. Yes, America has its problems just like any other nation, but I am proud to be apart of it. Instead of disrespecting it, I honor those who have given their lives for this great nation, which is why I will proudly wave the American flag.

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Like chapters in a book, so are the days of our lives

Posted on June 5, 2015 by Tennyson

Ugh! Another birthday… Several people I know made a big deal about turning 40. I didn’t seem to mind, but now that I’m in my 50’s, well that’s a different story! It seems like everyday I wake up to some ailment in my body and I don’t seem to have the energy like I once had. All right, I’ll quit whining for now, but it does suck getting older. The first chapter of Ecclesiastes starts out like this:

Remember your Creator
in the days of your youth,
before the days of trouble come
and the years approach when you will say,
“I find no pleasure in them” (NIV)

I’ve also heard the last line said this way “I find no delight in this“. As I grow older, I’m starting to relate to what Solomon is saying. As the years pass by, they seem to take their toll on us both physically and mentally. Not trying to be a downer here, but its true. First we deny growing older, then we fight to stay young and fit, then one day we wake up and say I find no delight in this! If I’d had known what it would be like to be older, I would have taking the time to appreciate my younger years a lot more. 🙂 I work at a University and as I walk across campus I enjoy watching the younger generation. I have to chuckle sometime watching the drama of them stressing out over exams or writing some term paper. Inside, I’m thinking, Oh wait until life really hits ya! you’re in for a real treat.Stages of life

One good thing I have notice, is that the scope of life has changed. Things seem more defined, like going from digital TV to High Definition. Take for example intimacy. There are many variations and depths of intimacy we encounter. I can remember sitting with my Mom reading a book, or working on the old truck engine with Dad. Remember sharing your first kiss? The feeling you felt pressing your lips against another for the first time. How about the time when you shared your wedding vows with your spouse. Oh, and lets not forget the intimacy found making love with your spouse. The feeling of fingers running across your skin, and the mornings waking up beside the one you love, or sharing a cup of coffee and talking about various topics of life. I remember the first time holding our newborn babies, smelling the newness of life, and standing in awe over the miracle in my arms. Yes, intimacy could be found with the passing of a love one. Sitting beside the bed, spending the last precious moments of life until they are no more. Experiencing all these variations of intimacy adds color and depth to life that cannot be found in books or through education. Life seems to have more clarity after you have lived if for sometime.

Growing older we face yet another pondering question. The way I see it, each life is a book with chapters representing each year we lived. Some books have many chapters, some have few. The important thing is not the amount of chapters in the book, but does the book have value? So I often ask myself, am I making a difference or am I just wasting time. Many people, especially in America, chase after the dream of lots of money and enough things to retire on, not that there is anything wrong with that, but in the end does this really add lasting value? Eventually, we start grasping for anything in our lives which would bring value, but in most cases, sad to say, a lot of people find more regrets.

So what kind of book are we? Will our book just sit on the shelf and be forgotten? Or will people remember our life’s passion and purpose, which brought value to not just to ourselves, but those we lived life with.

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I’ll have life with a side of wisdom please!

Posted on May 29, 2015 by Tennyson

I’ve heard this repeated a few times in my life “If I knew then, what I know now, things would be a lot different“. Man this is so true! If I could go back to my twenties, knowing what I know now, I’d definitely would make some changes. Don’t get me wrong, our experiences we go through definitely build character and define who we are. But the book of Proverbs says its better to get wisdom and understanding. Think back to the many times we could have avoided some circumstances if we had just had some wisdom and understanding.

One of the things I struggled with was finances. I had the basic understanding that you needed to work to pay your bills, but I really didn’t succeed at finances until later in life. I guess I kind of skip (or didn’t pay attention) that class during my High School years. It sure would have been a lot easier if someone could have taken me aside and shown me how to work a budget and SAVE money. As it is, with most Americans, we went years living paycheck to paycheck in addition to racking up debt. One day, I ran across an article regarding the concept of delayed gratification. I found it very intriguing! So I decided to put off buying things on credit, work on paying off debt and saving for a rainy day. This really started to change things around, however I still felt unprepared for the future. So I started researching and buying books to help me understand what I needed to do. The Wisdom is betterbook of Proverbs encourages us to seek wisdom and understanding. Why? because it will make living life easier (my paraphrasing).

We are living in the information age. Seriously! knowledge is right at our finger tips. We can avoid a lot of the bad experiences we go through, if we would just take the time to learn. Sad to say, I lot of people I talk to are just too lazy to seek out wisdom and understanding for themselves. I’m constantly asking people, Did you search for it on the internet? Or did you try the old fashion way by going to the library? Everyone wants a quick fix or they just want too be told what to do. I found out years ago, that part of living life is the learning process, the discovery of new ideals, learning from others who have been down the same path. It’s a process which continues through all stages of life. Be it finances, marriage, raising children, the list could go on and on, don’t just learn these through experience. Get wisdom! Sure you may miss a few details along the way, but its better than not knowing anything.

One last thing. Wisdom, by definition is the knowledge of what is true or right. The way I see the world has been through much study of the Bible. It’s become the basis by which I evaluate information, be it through books, internet, or just talking with people. You’re welcome to disagree all you want, but believe me there is a lot of bad ideals and wrong teaching out there. So be careful when choosing sources for gaining wisdom.

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Spit out the bones!

Posted on May 26, 2015 by Tennyson

I mention in a marriage conference one time, some secular study on human behavior. In a round about way, I was then very politely rebuked for sharing such information and told our views should only come from the Bible. I totally agree, our foundation for learning of life should originate from the Bible, but that’s not going to stop me from learning from other sources.

I heard this quote once and I’ve made it a good practice in my life, “Eat the meat, spit out the bones“. There are literally hundreds, if not thousands of examples we encounter during our lifetime, which teach us valuable lessons. However when it comes to learning from other individuals, we need to, eat the meat, and spit out the bones. Take for example, the times when we see or hear of some church leader who fell into sin. Most people will then dismiss anything and everything the person has said or even written. I have several books which have greatly inspired me, but the authors have made wrong choices in their personal life. Should I just throw away the books because of it? Of course not!Learning Look at all the examples in the Bible of individuals, like King David. He slept with another man’s wife and then killed the guy! Yet we continue to read his prayers which teach and inspire us. How about Samson. He made many bad choices, yet he lead and taught Israel for many years.

Back in my hometown of Hagerstown, MD. Lisa and I were a part of a young and growing church. I can’t begin to express the many, many valuable lessons we learned which helped shaped our thinking and character. Many years later, after we had moved away, we found out the core leaders of the church fell into sin which tore the church apart. We talk to several friends who went through these difficult times and believe me, these folks were hurting. Its hard not to take it personal when you are there in the mix of it. When talking with them you could hear the pain in their voices. Some of them moved on to other churches, others abandon church all together. So I ask, should the message of the Kingdom, which was taught there, be thrown out? Of course not.

One thing we need to continue to remind ourself, is that mankind is not perfect and God will continue to use imperfect people to teach us, be it in or outside the church. Our part is to pick out the good stuff (the meat) and throw out the false information or ideals (the bones).

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Where have all the good Managers gone….

Posted on May 22, 2015 by Tennyson

In my 30 plus years of working, I’ve had many managers in various jobs. Recently I heard this quote, People never quit their jobs, they quit their managers. Having once been a manager for 8 years I can most assuredly say there is a lot of truth in this quote. Unfortunately, I hate to admit, I probably cause some people to quit or move on. Being a manager is not something you wake up one day and start doing. Managing people as well as managing the day-to-day aspects of a business is not a skill many people can do. I’m in the Information Technology (IT) industry and sad to say, I’ve seen way to many times, people are put into management positions simply because they are good at being technical. For example, Say; so in so is an awesome programmer or they have managed several computer systems with great success, so to keep these people around we offer them a management position. Ugh! Just because someone has had success with computers does not make them any good at managing people! I’ve seen this in both the private sector and in education.

In my young, early days struggling being a new manager. I was very fortunate to have a Teammentor help guide me through some very difficult days. His name, Fred Tedrow. Fred was what you would call a manager of managers. There were many things He taught me years ago which help shaped my character and the way I communicate with people. Fred was a no bones kind of guy, who from what I can remember, wasn’t really all that technical, but He knew how to motivate you to do the right thing. The most memorable times were the  countless hours sitting in a Hotel lobby writing down on a napkin, goals and things I needed to deal with. One time Fred and I sat down together (notice I said together) to fill out my performance review. He let me rate myself. Of course in my mind I thought I was the best, so I naturally rated myself Superior and Distinguish on everything. Fred interrupted and said that we human beings always tend to overrate ourself. So with that, he marked everything commendable, then said, now let’s go back and highlight your strengths and areas you need to improve in. I learned a valuable lesson that day. I learned to quit thinking more highly of myself and realized there will always be areas I need to improve in.

nother thing I learned is that, good managers are more administrative and less, hands on. In fact, you could say the higher up you go in an organization the less and less you become hands on. This was another area I miserably failed in. Inexperienced managers will tend to want to do things themselves and not delegate to their people. This was exactly me, until a good friend politely rebuked me for being so foolish (got to love good friends). Once I set my mind to training anyone who wanted to learn, I realized running the business was a lot easier and I was able to give better service to our customers.

So much more could be said about the skills to be a good manager, but that would go beyond the scope of this forum. There are many, many excellent books on the subject, but from what I have seen there are very few examples. This is pretty sad….. Someone asked me if I would ever go back into management again. If given the opportunity, I probably would, but only as the CEO of my own company. 🙂

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King Solomon

Posted on May 19, 2015 by Tennyson

One of my favorite men in the Bible is King Solomon. Now, when someone mentions his name, almost instantly people think of the many wives and concubines he had. Yes, Solomon messed up, but haven’t we all messed up in some way or another? I heard an old saying “If you look for the bad in people, you will always be sure to find it”, but I’m just foolish enough to thing that there is also good in people and if you look for it, you will find it as well.

King SolomonKing Solomon wrote three timeless classics in the Bible; Proverbs, Ecclesiastes and The Song of Solomon; trust me guys, if you want to get lucky, grab a bottle of wine and read some Song of Solomon. 🙂 I guess what fascinates me most is Solomon’s heart at the beginning of his reign. No where else in the Bible do you find God asking a man “Ask what you wish Me to give you”. Seriously? Are you kidding? He could have asked for anything to benefit himself, but he didn’t. Instead he was more concerned about the people of God and how he lacked the wisdom and understanding on how to govern the nation. Gee… wouldn’t it be nice to have leaders like that today?

So much could be said on the accomplishments Solomon did. I suppose, if we could do half of what he did, our lives would be pretty interesting, but let me leave you with this one last thought. When he was born his parents named him Solomon, but Nathan the prophet said that God had a name for him as well. Jedidiah, which means “beloved of the Lord“.  Stop and think about that for minute. Every time you hear the word Jedidiah, somewhere in the back of your mind you hear beloved of the Lord. Imagine how that would change how you see yourself. Hey Jedidiah (beloved of the Lord) can you take out the trash. Jedidiah (beloved of the Lord) can you go to the store for me? Talk about mind-blowing….. I looked up the meaning of my name once. Tennyson – Son of Dennis. How pathetic! makes me want to change my name or rewrite the definition.  Truth be told, after much study of the Bible the phrase beloved of the Lord could be applied to all of us.  I’ll never understand why, but do I really need to?

This is my first post on our blog site. I thought it would be appropriate to start off with King Solomon, because I will make mention of his writings a lot. Of course when you study the life of Solomon, you will find that his wisdom did not originate from him, but from God. A gift from our creator.

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